NEWS RELEASE
November 1, 2007 Contact: Chris Lamb, Professor
5 College Way
Dept. of Communication
College of Charleston
843-953-6591, w lambc@cofc.edu
`I’ll Be Sober in the Morning’ Book Includes Best Political Putdowns
CHARLESTON, S.C. – British Prime Minister Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party and bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist parliament member
"Mr. Churchill, you are drunk," Braddock said harshly.
Churchill paused and said, "And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly. I’ll be sober in the morning."
The ability to fire off a sharp comeback that leaves a rival or heckler red-faced and speechless can be a potent political weapon. In a war of words, few could stand up to Winston Churchill.
“I’ll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Political Putdowns, Comebacks, and Ripostes,” edited by Chris Lamb and published by Frontline Press, is a must-read to survive the interminable 2008 political campaign. In “I’ll Be Sober in the Morning,” you’ll find punishing putdowns like this:
John Wilkes, the 18th-century British political reformer, was debating John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, in Parliament. The exchange kept increasing in bile until Montagu shouted at Wilkes that he would either die on the gallows or of venereal disease. To which Wilkes responded, “That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship’s principles or your Lordship’s mistresses.”
No record exists of Montagu’s response, or if he even had one. He probably put what was left of his manhood in a thimble and skulked away in silence. To this day, no one has delivered a comeback so devastating and so spontaneous.
Below are samples from “I’ll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Putdowns, Comebacks, and Ripostes.” For a copy of the book, call Chris Lamb at 843-953-6591 or e-mail lambc@cofc.edu.
During one of the Lincoln-Douglas debates, the incumbent U.S. Sen. Stephen Douglas told a conservative audience that he had once seen Lincoln selling whiskey. When it was his turn to speak, Lincoln made no attempt to dispute the charge. He agreed that he had once worked as a bartender. “I was on one side of the bar serving drinks,” Lincoln said, “and Douglas was on the other side drinking them.”
A political opponent charged New York Gov. Al Smith with telling lies about him. "You ought to be glad," Smith replied. "If I told the truth about you, they'd run you out of town."
When Woodrow Wilson was governor of New Jersey, he was informed that one of the state's U.S. senators had died and it would therefore be up to Wilson to appoint a replacement. Shortly thereafter, a state politician called Wilson and said, "Mr. Governor, I'd like to take the senator's place."
"It's OK with me,” Wilson replied, “if it's okay with the undertaker."
One evening a nervous soprano struggled hopelessly before president Calvin Coolidge at a White House recital. “What do you think of the singer’s execution?” one of the guests asked Coolidge. Coolidge paused and then quietly answered, “I’m all for it.”
During a congressional debate an opponent shouted at the diminutive U.S. Sen. A.H. Stephens, "You little know nothing, I could swallow you whole and never know I had eaten anything." Stephens then fired back, "And if you did that, you would have more brains in your belly than you have in your head."
Former Georgia governor Herman Talmadge was asked what would be the effect of all the people moving from Georgia to Florida. "I am sure it will enhance the level of intelligence of both states," Talmadge said.
During an exchange in Parliament, Lady Nancy Astor snarled at Winston Churchill and said: “If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee.” Churchill replied, “If you were my wife, Nancy, I’d drink it.”
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
High Art of Political Putdowns
OTHER VIEWS
The high art of political putdowns
Chris Lamb Special to the Sentinel
October 21, 2007
John Wilkes, the 18th-century British political reformer, was debating John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, in the House of Parliament. The exchange kept increasing in bile until Montagu shouted at Wilkes that he would either die on the gallows or of venereal disease.
To which Wilkes responded, "That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles or your Lordship's mistresses."
There's no record of Montagu's response, or if he even had one. He probably put what was left of his manhood in a thimble and skulked away in silence.
To this day, no one has delivered a comeback so devastating and so spontaneous. In the rough-andtumble world of political debates, one hopes to have the last word. Republican presidential hopefuls will look for their opportunities tonight in Orlando.
In the last Republican debate two weeks ago, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney addressed the long presidential campaign and took a swipe at former U.S. Sen. Fred Thompson, the former Law and Order actor who had finally entered the race after much speculation."This is a lot like Law and Order, senator," Romney said. "It has a huge cast, the series seems to be on forever, and Fred Thompson shows up at the end."
Thompson then replied: "And to think, I thought I was going to be the best actor on stage."
Thompson's line received a few chuckles.
In a battle of wits, few were the equal of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. During a debate with Nancy Astor, a bitter rival, Astor snapped: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Churchill calmly replied: "If you were my wife, Nancy, I'd drink it."
Churchill once revealed the secret behind the spontaneous putdown when he said, "All the best off-the-cuff remarks are prepared days beforehand."
In modern American politics, the most famous comeback belongs to Lloyd Bentsen, Michael Dukakis' running mate in the 1988 presidential election. Dukakis' opponent, George Herbert Walker Bush, had selected Dan Quayle as his running mate. The youthful Quayle tried to dismiss concerns about his inexperience by comparing himself to John F. Kennedy when JFK ran for president in 1960.
Quayle's advisers cautioned him against bringing up the JFK comparison during his nationally televised debate with Bentsen.Quayle ignored the advice, saying, "I have as much experience as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency."
Bentsen was waiting: "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine," Bentsen said calmly before landing the knockout punch. "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."Bush-Quayle won the election.
But Bentsen's putdown left Quayle forever tainted as a punchline in American politics.
Churchill, Bentsen and others have used the riposte as a potent political weapon.Others have used it to swat away an opponent's unwanted advances. During a television debate, Henry McMaster, the Republican candidate for U.S. Senate in South Carolina, challenged the incumbent, Fritz Hollings, then in his 70s, to take a drug test.
"I'll take a drug test," Hollings snapped, "if you'll take an IQ test."
Politics isn't just a blood sport; it's a spectator sport. New York Gov. Al Smith was delivering a campaign speech when someone in the audience yelled, "Tell us all you know, Al, it won't take long!"
To which Smith replied, "Better yet, I'll tell them all we both know, and it won't take any longer!"What the 2008 presidential campaign has thus lacked in clever repartee, it's more than made up for in smug sanctimony.
At the risk of overstating the obvious, we could really use someone like Abraham Lincoln.During one of the Lincoln- Douglas debates, the incumbent U.S. Sen. Stephen Douglas told a conservative audience that he had once seen Lincoln selling whiskey. When it was his turn to speak, Lincoln made no attempt to dispute the charge. He agreed that he had once worked as a bartender.
"I was on one side of the bar serving drinks," Lincoln said, "and Douglas was on the other side drinking them."
Chris Lamb is a professor of Communication at the College of Charleston. His most recent book is "I'll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Political Comebacks, Putdowns and Ripostes," which will be published in November by Frontline Press. He can be reached at lambc@cofc.edu.
The high art of political putdowns
Chris Lamb Special to the Sentinel
October 21, 2007
John Wilkes, the 18th-century British political reformer, was debating John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, in the House of Parliament. The exchange kept increasing in bile until Montagu shouted at Wilkes that he would either die on the gallows or of venereal disease.
To which Wilkes responded, "That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles or your Lordship's mistresses."
There's no record of Montagu's response, or if he even had one. He probably put what was left of his manhood in a thimble and skulked away in silence.
To this day, no one has delivered a comeback so devastating and so spontaneous. In the rough-andtumble world of political debates, one hopes to have the last word. Republican presidential hopefuls will look for their opportunities tonight in Orlando.
In the last Republican debate two weeks ago, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney addressed the long presidential campaign and took a swipe at former U.S. Sen. Fred Thompson, the former Law and Order actor who had finally entered the race after much speculation."This is a lot like Law and Order, senator," Romney said. "It has a huge cast, the series seems to be on forever, and Fred Thompson shows up at the end."
Thompson then replied: "And to think, I thought I was going to be the best actor on stage."
Thompson's line received a few chuckles.
In a battle of wits, few were the equal of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. During a debate with Nancy Astor, a bitter rival, Astor snapped: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Churchill calmly replied: "If you were my wife, Nancy, I'd drink it."
Churchill once revealed the secret behind the spontaneous putdown when he said, "All the best off-the-cuff remarks are prepared days beforehand."
In modern American politics, the most famous comeback belongs to Lloyd Bentsen, Michael Dukakis' running mate in the 1988 presidential election. Dukakis' opponent, George Herbert Walker Bush, had selected Dan Quayle as his running mate. The youthful Quayle tried to dismiss concerns about his inexperience by comparing himself to John F. Kennedy when JFK ran for president in 1960.
Quayle's advisers cautioned him against bringing up the JFK comparison during his nationally televised debate with Bentsen.Quayle ignored the advice, saying, "I have as much experience as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency."
Bentsen was waiting: "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine," Bentsen said calmly before landing the knockout punch. "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."Bush-Quayle won the election.
But Bentsen's putdown left Quayle forever tainted as a punchline in American politics.
Churchill, Bentsen and others have used the riposte as a potent political weapon.Others have used it to swat away an opponent's unwanted advances. During a television debate, Henry McMaster, the Republican candidate for U.S. Senate in South Carolina, challenged the incumbent, Fritz Hollings, then in his 70s, to take a drug test.
"I'll take a drug test," Hollings snapped, "if you'll take an IQ test."
Politics isn't just a blood sport; it's a spectator sport. New York Gov. Al Smith was delivering a campaign speech when someone in the audience yelled, "Tell us all you know, Al, it won't take long!"
To which Smith replied, "Better yet, I'll tell them all we both know, and it won't take any longer!"What the 2008 presidential campaign has thus lacked in clever repartee, it's more than made up for in smug sanctimony.
At the risk of overstating the obvious, we could really use someone like Abraham Lincoln.During one of the Lincoln- Douglas debates, the incumbent U.S. Sen. Stephen Douglas told a conservative audience that he had once seen Lincoln selling whiskey. When it was his turn to speak, Lincoln made no attempt to dispute the charge. He agreed that he had once worked as a bartender.
"I was on one side of the bar serving drinks," Lincoln said, "and Douglas was on the other side drinking them."
Chris Lamb is a professor of Communication at the College of Charleston. His most recent book is "I'll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Political Comebacks, Putdowns and Ripostes," which will be published in November by Frontline Press. He can be reached at lambc@cofc.edu.
Lynne Cheney - Dick Cheney -- Barack Obama
Strange bedfellows:
Vice President Dick Cheney is related to Sen. Barack Obama.
At least that was the stunning announcement made yesterday by Lynne Cheney, who said that the very white vice president from Wyoming is in fact the eighth cousin of Obama, the Senate's only African American member. She said she discovered the link, traced back to a Huguenot who figured prominently in Maryland history, while researching her latest book.
Obama, whose mother was white, did not immediately comment on the revelation. But his campaign made light of the tie, without confirming it. "Obviously, Dick Cheney is the black sheep of the family," Obama spokesman Bill Burton said
Vice President Dick Cheney is related to Sen. Barack Obama.
At least that was the stunning announcement made yesterday by Lynne Cheney, who said that the very white vice president from Wyoming is in fact the eighth cousin of Obama, the Senate's only African American member. She said she discovered the link, traced back to a Huguenot who figured prominently in Maryland history, while researching her latest book.
Obama, whose mother was white, did not immediately comment on the revelation. But his campaign made light of the tie, without confirming it. "Obviously, Dick Cheney is the black sheep of the family," Obama spokesman Bill Burton said
Fred Thompson -- Mitt Romney exchange
Fred Thompson -- Mitt Romney exchange
Toward the end of the Republican debate, Fred Thompson took a lighter tone as he discussed his late entrance into the race.
"I've enjoyed watching these fellas," he said. "I've got to admit, it was getting a little boring without me, but I'm glad to be here now."
Earlier, Mitt Romney compared the contest for the nomination to the television drama "Law & Order," in which Thompson portrayed a district attorney: "It has a huge cast, the series seems to go on forever, and Fred Thompson shows up at the end.""And to think I thought I was going to be the best actor on the stage," Thompson responded with a smile
Toward the end of the Republican debate, Fred Thompson took a lighter tone as he discussed his late entrance into the race.
"I've enjoyed watching these fellas," he said. "I've got to admit, it was getting a little boring without me, but I'm glad to be here now."
Earlier, Mitt Romney compared the contest for the nomination to the television drama "Law & Order," in which Thompson portrayed a district attorney: "It has a huge cast, the series seems to go on forever, and Fred Thompson shows up at the end.""And to think I thought I was going to be the best actor on the stage," Thompson responded with a smile
Friday, October 19, 2007
Interview with the author of I'll Be Sober in the Morning
A Few Questions With Chris Lamb,
Author
I’ll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Political Comebacks, Putdowns, and Ripostes
Q1: What’s your favorite comeback in I’ll Be Sober in the Morning?
A: The 18th-century British politician John Wilkes was involved in a nasty exchange with his rival John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, who yelled at Wilkes that he would either die on the gallows or of venereal disease. Wilkes then replied, “That, sir, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
Q2: How did the Earl of Sandwich respond?
A: Probably by collecting what was left of his manhood, putting it in a thimble, and then skulking away quietly.
Q3: In your introduction, you write that the comeback and putdown “come from the dark side of the brain?” What do you mean?
A: The person who delivers the putdown isn’t interested in getting a chuckle. Putdowns aren’t jokes, they’re assaults; they’re intended to leave their victim skulking away with their manhood in a thimble.
Q4: Based on the quotes in your book, who was the person you would most like to spend an evening with?
A: Calvin Coolidge. I like quiet evenings at home. Coolidge had that rare charisma that he could walk into an empty room and blend in. When he died, Dorothy Parker said, “How could they tell?” It’s a great line. I don’t know why it’s not in the book.
Q5: Who was the person in your book you would least like to spend an evening with.
A: Joseph Stalin. Mass murderers don’t tend to be a lot of fun. I’m not speaking from personal experience here, just a gut feeling.
Q6: You don’t typically find Stalin quoted in humor books, do you?
A: I think this is probably one of the few humor books that quote Stalin. When told that Pope Pius objected to the Soviet Union’s plans to invade Poland, Stalin asked: “How many divisions does the Pope command?” When told of Stalin’s answer, the Pope replied, “You may tell my son Joseph he will meet my divisions in heaven.” That may not seem particularly funny to you but it had the Archbishops slapping their knees for weeks.
Q 7: What’s the secret to delivering a spontaneous putdown?
A: Winston Churchill, who contributed the book’s title, said, “All the best off-the-cuff remarks are prepared days beforehand.”
Q8: How does one do this?
A: Lloyd Bentsen, the Democratic vice presidential candidate in 1988, knew that Dan Quayle, the Republican vice presidential candidate, had been comparing himself to John F. Kennedy. During the vice presidential debate, Bentsen waited for his moment. When Quayle compared himself to JFK, Bentsen responded with his “I knew JFK and you’re no JFK” line.
Q9: Who, among recent politicians, was the best at the putdown?
A: “Fritz” Hollings of South Carolina. During a television debate, one of his opponents, for unknown reasons, challenged Hollings, then in his 70s, to a drug test. “I’ll take a drug test,” Hollings snapped, “if you’ll take an IQ test.”
Q10: Do you expect any memorable comebacks by any of the candidates currently running for president?
A: No. For two reasons. Humor comes about as naturally to this bunch as knitting to a bear. Secondly, the ability to deliver a clever riposte isn’t the kind of thing that’s rewarded in politics. Political campaigns and the news media want everything choreographed and predictable. If a candidate delivered a comeback, like the ones found in this book, the candidate’s media consultants would spontaneously combust and the media would bury the candidate as too mean to be president.
Q11: Didn’t the media say that Senator Bob Dole’s humor was too mean-spirited when he ran for president?
A: It was Dole who was mean-spirited. There was nothing wrong with his humor. During the Reagan presidency, the three living former presidents, Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon were standing side by side at a White House event when Dole observed, “There they are. See no evil, hear no evil,” and then pausing to look at Nixon, he said, “And evil.”
Q12: Do you think politicians shy away from using humor because there’s an impression that humor isn’t dignified for a president.
A: Maybe. We can’t very well have someone like Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, or Winston Churchill running the country, can we?
Q13: What inspired you to compile I’ll Be Sober in the Morning.
A: How else would my name get in a book like this?
Q14: What did you learn about politics and politicians from compiling this book?
A: We should be electing the wits. Instead, we’re electing the twits.
Author
I’ll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Political Comebacks, Putdowns, and Ripostes
Q1: What’s your favorite comeback in I’ll Be Sober in the Morning?
A: The 18th-century British politician John Wilkes was involved in a nasty exchange with his rival John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, who yelled at Wilkes that he would either die on the gallows or of venereal disease. Wilkes then replied, “That, sir, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
Q2: How did the Earl of Sandwich respond?
A: Probably by collecting what was left of his manhood, putting it in a thimble, and then skulking away quietly.
Q3: In your introduction, you write that the comeback and putdown “come from the dark side of the brain?” What do you mean?
A: The person who delivers the putdown isn’t interested in getting a chuckle. Putdowns aren’t jokes, they’re assaults; they’re intended to leave their victim skulking away with their manhood in a thimble.
Q4: Based on the quotes in your book, who was the person you would most like to spend an evening with?
A: Calvin Coolidge. I like quiet evenings at home. Coolidge had that rare charisma that he could walk into an empty room and blend in. When he died, Dorothy Parker said, “How could they tell?” It’s a great line. I don’t know why it’s not in the book.
Q5: Who was the person in your book you would least like to spend an evening with.
A: Joseph Stalin. Mass murderers don’t tend to be a lot of fun. I’m not speaking from personal experience here, just a gut feeling.
Q6: You don’t typically find Stalin quoted in humor books, do you?
A: I think this is probably one of the few humor books that quote Stalin. When told that Pope Pius objected to the Soviet Union’s plans to invade Poland, Stalin asked: “How many divisions does the Pope command?” When told of Stalin’s answer, the Pope replied, “You may tell my son Joseph he will meet my divisions in heaven.” That may not seem particularly funny to you but it had the Archbishops slapping their knees for weeks.
Q 7: What’s the secret to delivering a spontaneous putdown?
A: Winston Churchill, who contributed the book’s title, said, “All the best off-the-cuff remarks are prepared days beforehand.”
Q8: How does one do this?
A: Lloyd Bentsen, the Democratic vice presidential candidate in 1988, knew that Dan Quayle, the Republican vice presidential candidate, had been comparing himself to John F. Kennedy. During the vice presidential debate, Bentsen waited for his moment. When Quayle compared himself to JFK, Bentsen responded with his “I knew JFK and you’re no JFK” line.
Q9: Who, among recent politicians, was the best at the putdown?
A: “Fritz” Hollings of South Carolina. During a television debate, one of his opponents, for unknown reasons, challenged Hollings, then in his 70s, to a drug test. “I’ll take a drug test,” Hollings snapped, “if you’ll take an IQ test.”
Q10: Do you expect any memorable comebacks by any of the candidates currently running for president?
A: No. For two reasons. Humor comes about as naturally to this bunch as knitting to a bear. Secondly, the ability to deliver a clever riposte isn’t the kind of thing that’s rewarded in politics. Political campaigns and the news media want everything choreographed and predictable. If a candidate delivered a comeback, like the ones found in this book, the candidate’s media consultants would spontaneously combust and the media would bury the candidate as too mean to be president.
Q11: Didn’t the media say that Senator Bob Dole’s humor was too mean-spirited when he ran for president?
A: It was Dole who was mean-spirited. There was nothing wrong with his humor. During the Reagan presidency, the three living former presidents, Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon were standing side by side at a White House event when Dole observed, “There they are. See no evil, hear no evil,” and then pausing to look at Nixon, he said, “And evil.”
Q12: Do you think politicians shy away from using humor because there’s an impression that humor isn’t dignified for a president.
A: Maybe. We can’t very well have someone like Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, or Winston Churchill running the country, can we?
Q13: What inspired you to compile I’ll Be Sober in the Morning.
A: How else would my name get in a book like this?
Q14: What did you learn about politics and politicians from compiling this book?
A: We should be electing the wits. Instead, we’re electing the twits.
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